AUTUMN REESER, ACTRESS ("THE OC," "NO ORDINARY FAMILY," "THE WHISPERS") AND ARTIST, SHARES HER MORNING ROUTINE AND UPDATES US ON THE NEW CHANGES IN HER FAMILY AND 2015 PLANS.
Dash wakes up between 6 and 7, I get up with him and change his diaper, get him something small to start eating, maybe half a banana. I make a latte and start breakfast for the boys, which is typically oatmeal or sometimes pancakes or crepes. Once that's going, Finn is usually awake and my trick with him is a rule I have that he has to get dressed before he can eat! It's tough with three year olds because they want to assert themselves at every opportunity and it can make the morning routine drag on, so a little 'breakfast bribery' to get things moving seems to work! I usually get Dash dressed while Finn is dressing himself, and then get them both settled in and eating their breakfast. I use that opportunity to get myself ready as quickly as possible, and by the time I'm done, the boys have eaten and it's time to leave for school!
Currently, it's an emotional time period and I am open to telling my boys when I'm having a bad day. I don't think it's healthy to hide all emotions from children, it's disingenuous and robs them of the opportunity to learn how to manage their own emotions with the realities of daily life. And let’s be honest… Some days are just plain hard even if you're not going through a divorce! Overall, I'm a positive and energetic person so I can usually rely on my natural desire to find the bright side in life.
I’ve learned not to plan too far ahead. Just when you think you have it figured out, something changes. It's far better to focus on being the in present, living fully in the current moment at hand. The future will come, the time will pass, whether you want it to or not. Just be. Just exist with your children and love them with your whole heart in this moment, right now, because that's all any of us really can count on.
As far as a different conceptualization of 'family' goes... I'm gonna have to figure that one out for myself first. I grew up with parents who have been together since they were 16 and 20, so the split household concept is entirely new for me and not an experience I expected to encounter in my lifetime. I'm relying a lot on advice from friends who have been through similar circumstances to help me shape my new worldview. The values I know I want to impart to my boys are freedom of expression, independence and self sufficiency. I think if you have those 3 things, life can throw a lot of curve balls at you and you still come out standing.
Don’t beat yourself up over trying to make things perfect, because you'll just be setting yourself up for disappointment. Some mornings we get our teeth brushed, some mornings we don't. Some mornings we wake up on time, some mornings we don't. Honestly, I'm just happy if everyone has food in their belly and shoes on their feet by the time we walk out the door! Just be in the moment and love those kids (and their beautiful chaos) with all your heart.